I was desperate. After finding “success” through a job on Wall Street, what I really found was my life became increasingly restless, empty, and devoid of deeper meaning. At the time my life reflected Saint Augustine’s saying, “Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they find their rest in Thee.”
Through the grace of God a thought entered my mind, “You should learn to meditate.” It was soft, simple, and clear. Thankfully, I followed this whisper from my soul. While in NYC a friend of mine and I went in our suit and ties and received a mantra in the Transcendental Meditation tradition. For about eight months I faithfully meditated daily with this technique.
Yet, there was still a God shaped hole in my heart. Looking back now I understand what was missing: My guru!
During a sales trip to the Midwest, I visited Milwaukee. While I was in the airport I stumbled into a used bookstore. I felt drawn as if by some invisible magnet to browse the metaphysical section of the store. Looking at the bookshelf before making a selection, I prayed the most simple and sincere prayer demand of my life.
Gazing upwards I said silently but with the ardor of my heart, “I NEED a good book to read…you MUST send me a good book now.” (The caps are mine, but I don’t think God minded. :))
Paramhansa Yogananda said when you are a little serious God sends you books. A little more and He sends you teachers. But when you mean business He sends you a guru. I like to joke (though it was no joke at the time) that He sent me all three at once!
The next book I pulled off the shelf was none other than Autobiography of a Yogi. When I saw Yogananda’s photography I was “transfixed at the touch of pure love” emanating from his eyes. In that silent moment of moments, I knew that my prayer had been answered and that I had found my guru.
As Swami Kriyananda says in his song, “You Remain Our Friend”:
When we need You, You descend,
Seeking grieving hearts to mend.
I believe Paramhansa Yogananda is saying to us all just like his own guru, Swami Sri Yukteswar said to him when they met for the first time:
“O my own, you have come to me!”
Thank you, Master, for incarnating and showing us the way to Self-realization. We are coming unto you are own!
In the transfixing touch of pure love,