By Nayaswami Dharmadevi
October 8, 2019

As I was beginning on the spiritual path, I had a vivid dream that I’ll never forget. In the dream, I was outside of my home in front of a small garden. I was admiring the beautiful flowers when I noticed a bug. I thought, “Is that a ladybug?” As I looked more closely, I was surprised to see that the bug was actually a tiny man!

He was crawling across the leaves and flower petals. As I gazed at him, I felt a deep, sacred connection to the bug-man. I intuitively knew if I chose to, I could also become a tiny bug. I could roam with the bug-man, free from all the cares and worries of this world. 

Just then, my attention shifted to the house where, inside, I knew all my duties and responsibilities awaited me – family, job, and the rest of life. Immediately, I felt the weight of these responsibilities on my body. I felt the heaviness of my consciousness as I contemplated everything I needed to do. My heart longed for the freedom of life with the bug-man.

As I turned back to him, my internal self-offering was complete. Silently, my prayer was, “I choose Thee!” In that moment, I shrunk down to his size and wrapping my arms around him, like a baby monkey, I rode on his back through the garden.

I woke up from this dream with such a feeling of freedom. I knew the message was not about shirking one’s worldly responsibilities. It was a lesson in dynamic surrender to the Divine will. 

As Swami Kriyananda says in Rays of the One Light, “Human will is inconsistent; it leads us one day to success, another, to disaster. The divine will, when we surrender to it completely (though it is not always easy to do so!), always brings us deep inner peace and joy in the end.”

Is there some aspect of your life for which you feel you need to be in control? Perhaps there are many parts! Your home, health, career, marriage, your children’s future? What real control do any of us have over anything? The securities of this world are always fleeting. The only thing that is certain is change and uncertainty! 

Maybe you’ve heard before – “Let go and let God.” But how do we do that? Would we be shirking our duties if we actually let go? Or could we put our lives more and more fully into the Divine Hands that can truly guide us to the right path in everything?

Swamiji gave us a powerful tool to offer our lives in this way: Every night, mentally build a bonfire at your spiritual eye. Offer into those purifying flames all of your attachments and desires. I would like to add for this exercise to offer also your desire for control over life’s circumstances. Pray for acceptance of what is – include acceptance of yourself, your loved ones, your job, and even those things in life that you would like to be different.

Once you feel a sense of contentment, ask Divine Mother to guide your life. She is just waiting for us to open our hearts to Her guiding light. As the Purification Ceremony at Ananda quotes our Divine Guru so beautifully, “Open your heart to Me and I will enter and take charge of your life.” As we surrender ourselves into Her arms, the mud of our lives can be shaped into the gold of our souls.